John:

I am a 35 year old male expat living in Prague for 5 years. I am writing to you if you can help me with my dating life-I am getting desperate! I have been in a long term committed relationship in my 20’s but since moving to Prague I feel like my love life is going downwards. On the dating apps I rarely get some matches and getting a girl on a date seems like an impossible mission. I tried all the apps and it is just not working. Even if I get a date, in most of the cases they ghost me or stop replying. I am shy to approach girls in person especially when they are in a group. I feel irritated by the situation and also feeling like I need to put so much effort to be loved. What can I do to make my love life better?

Trinity:

Hello John, and thank you for writing to us!

I would consider reframing your mindset. Instead of viewing dating as this effort-intensive task, you can try to see it as an opportunity for self-discovery and connection. Maybe instead of dating apps, try engaging in activities and hobbies that are more aligned with your interests. It can lead to meeting like-minded individuals in a more natural or organic way, and maybe won’t feel as emotionally exhausting.

To build your confidence in the dating game, I would suggest here to focus on you and again reframing the experience, by making an authentic profile really focusing on who YOU are and your passions. This can better attract meaningful connections with people who share common views and interests.

As for real life social settings, you can start with small, genuine interactions to gradually build confidence in approaching others. Don’t force yourself or the conversation, speak about things that interest you and help you feel more comfortable and confident. This will be less taxing on you, and draw in the ‘right’ people.