Humans are social beings; as a result, we have a desire to fit in, which drives us to develop connections with other people in our community. Humans need meaningful interactions in their lives. Romantic love, the kind of feeling one might have for their partner, is the foundation of a romantic relationship. A romantic relationship often includes a sexual interest and intimacy in addition to mutual care and concern as in a platonic sort of love. It is important to keep in mind that not all relationships fit neatly into one of the categories, with sexual elements being present without romantic love or romantic love being present without the sexual element.

According to the American Psychological Association, resilience is the capacity to “bounce back” after experiencing adversity, trauma, tragedy, danger, or severe causes of stress. We refer to resilience in regard to relationships when the latter perseveres and thrives despite barriers, such as conflict, routine, or any other factor challenging the relationship.

Factors Affecting Resilience

Psychosocial Development: 

According to Erik Erikson (1950) developmental crisis theory, in the stage where a person would be choosing between intimacy or isolation, which takes place during young adulthood, people focus on building intimate relationships. Their success is highly impacted by their ability to be devoted to someone, the extent to which they are selfless and their sexuality. Those who failed to develop these three features often feel lonely and scared of intimate relationships.

Attachment Style:

First coined by Bowlby, attachment was defined as an essential connection between a child and their caregiver. Ainsworth later identified different types of attachment, which could generally be divided into secure and insecure. Elaborative research showed that this connection plays a significant role in one’s future, adult, relationships, as attachment types correlated with divorce, tendency to seek social support and overall beliefs in regard to love.

Communication:

This is a complex factor which many would argue is the foundation of any relationship. Healthy and clear communication does not only help resolve conflict, but also helps one avoid them ensuring all sides are informed and respected.

Love Language: 

A popular concept which would fall under communication. According to Chapman, there are 5 ways an individual can choose to show their love to another. The types Chapman identifies include: Act of service, Physical Touch, Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Receiving Gifts. We need to express love in order to have fulfilling relationships, however, people can differ in the way they want love to be expressed. Therefore in order for your partner to feel love being reciprocated, it is important to learn what would be their way of expressing and receiving love.

Conflict Resolution:

Conflict is inevitable, therefore it is not inherently negative and does not stand as a predictor for a fallout on its own. Gottman, another prominent figure in relationship psychology, found that the feeling of anger did not play a major role in conflict resolution, however he identified 4 tendencies associated with relationship dissolution: criticality, defence, contempt, and withdrawal from conversation.

Individual differences play an important role in determining the success of the relationship, but it is not an ultimate factor. The differences trigger conflicts, prior experience creates predispositions, and more obstacles may occur however it can be overcome. Once partners are aware of the issues preventing a relationship’s healthy functioning, they are able to apply positive habits and attitudes while staying conscious of their common goal. While this article shares some insights on relationship resilience, please keep in mind that some behaviours, such as abuse, should not be tolerated, as you must prioritise your safety and wellbeing at all times.